Coping With a Breakup—Tips on Restoring Your Self Confidence

Coping with a breakup can be one of the most difficult things in life.  Some people literally consider it to be far more painful than personal injury.  It can indeed be a harsh blow when the person you love doesn’t want you anymore.  It does a number on your ego and can even shake your self-confidence. 

Coping With a Breakup—The Change Stage

In coping with a breakup, the second most important thing to do is to move on with your life.  This takes aggressive action at first, including getting out of the muck of self-pity you have built around you, and taking definitive steps to change your lifestyle.  Get out more.  Date other people if you want.  Get rid of all the little things in your house that reminds you of your ex and what used to be.  What used to be is no longer today.  The sooner you understand, the better—it’s like chipping away angst that has gathered around your soul.

Coping With a Breakup—The Communicative Stage

Your coping with a breakup stage will be severely tested when you communicate with your ex again.  You must decide beforehand whether you want to repair the relationship or find someone else to love.  If it’s the former, then focus on becoming a better man or a better woman.  Let go of all the baggage of the past and allow yourself to become a happy, well adjusted person.  Allow yourself to let go of the anger you have for your spouse, as well as the desperation to have things as they once were.  (You don’t want things to continue the way they were!  You were both miserable)

On the other hand, when coping with a breakup, and when trying to win your ex back, you want to focus on creating a new relationship.  This time you have matured and have found happiness independently of your ex.  Your ex will find this new and confident side of you very attractive…perhaps even irresistible. 

Remember these tips on coping with a breakup.  In the end, it’s not about them…it’s about you.