The Rules of Getting Back Together With An Ex

What are the rules of getting back together with an ex?  Depending on who you ask they could be very basic or very complicated.  It all depends on the author’s voice and his or her personal hang ups about men or women.  Ask a disgruntled guy who was dumped on his birthday and you’ll probably find a 100 page book on the perils of women.  Ask a disgruntled woman about the rules and you will get a mouthful just the same.  Then of course there are therapists out there who use circular logic that keeps you coming back for years without ever learning anything.

The Reality of Getting Back Together With an Ex

Instead of focusing on the reality of the situation they prefer to create fictional scenarios of which they are more comfortable.  They imagine themselves as the victim.  They prefer to be oblivious to what ended the relationship.  They blame the break up on the selfish nature of the ex-girlfriend (or ex-boyfriend) that left. 

If that’s what you need to do to get over someone, then do it!  Denial is not exactly productive thinking but it sure beats sitting in a muck of depression, regret, anger and self-pity.  The fact of the matter is that getting back together with an ex will require great effort from you.  You will have to rise out of this funky mood and do something practical, something intelligent, in order to capture the heart of your true love a second time.

What Getting Back Together With an Ex Requires

Getting back together with an ex requires that you distance yourself from your grief.  You cannot approach your ex as a sniveling and sad person, as this will only remind your former love of how far you have fallen from grace.  They loved you as a strong and approachable person, not the type that breaks down and sobs whenever you see them.

Of course, even if you’re not one for emotional outbursts, you can still convey this fragile “turn off” behavior in your actions.  Calling your ex for no apparent reason, sending dozens of text messages, or demanding to talk about the relationship instead of more enjoyable conversation—these are all mistakes that will not help in getting back together with an ex. 

In conclusion, try imagining that you are on a first date with your ex.  This doesn’t mean that you are oblivious to all the negativity that has happened.  However, take the same frame of mind.  A successful person, a warm and friendly person and one who projects a little mystery!